Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login
Weak in the knees, you don't feel a thing.
                                    I'm the one who ends up falling.

You notice my eyes light up everytime they land on you.
                        (i'm like christmas lights. you can be electricity.)
And you couldn't crack this smile with an 80 pound cinderblock.
You make me stutter.
I can hold my breath. I just can't seem to catch it.

Every look,smile,touch?
It confuses me.
How come I feel everything and you're stuck at level     zero   .

We're in the same car- i'm going 90 and you're going backwards.
                                  
                                  Fields on a monotonous drive fly by.
                                  You don't talk anymore.
                                  You're never in the mood to see my pearly whites.        
                                                                      (which aren't so white anymore.)
                                  Everything about "us" is smashed.
                                               like the windshield 2 ft in front of me. (shards in our eyes)
                                  My status just went from "one of my best friends" to "just another girl".
                                                           (you don't even know the meaning of 'washed out')
                                  It's not about the laughs anymore.
                                  You got what you wanted...
Throw me in the trunk.
                   Whisper "Bye Bye Beautiful.
                                       I'm done using you."

Drop me in the lake.
        (Don't worry. They can't see the bottom from their boats.)
                                          You can't just say "you're gonna stick around until i'm sick of you"
                 Because when all those other girls make you sick and the lake is full, I'll be long gone.
And you can lay on the beach, look up at the clouds and wonder if I was the one that made you feel everything.
Full title:
"The sky won't be blue by the time you make up your mind"

cars,smiles,water.
my past 2 and this one all have those 3 things in them.
sorry if they all seem the same.
Add a Comment:
 
:iconbugdrool:
bugdrool Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2006
this one really really hit a spot with me so.. thanks i guess haha

your writing is amazing :]
Reply
:iconyournotagoodbye:
yournotagoodbye Featured By Owner Aug 24, 2006  Student Artist
NO thank YOU
:)
Reply
:iconedange:
EDange Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2006   Photographer
oh my GOD YOURE A TALENT!! :boogie: +FAV
Reply
:iconyournotagoodbye:
yournotagoodbye Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2006  Student Artist
thank you so much! (for the favorite too!)
:heart:
:heart:
:heart:
Reply
:iconfallen-princess:
fallen-princess Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2006
i am very impressed with your gallery. i really like your style of writing.

HENCE, i'll be watching you :)
Reply
:iconyournotagoodbye:
yournotagoodbye Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2006  Student Artist
Thank you so much!:)
Reply
:iconbeautifullyflawed09:
beautifullyflawed09 Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2005
wow this is amamzing... <333333333





:faint:
Reply
:iconyournotagoodbye:
yournotagoodbye Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2005  Student Artist
thankyou:)
Reply
:iconlittlevahn:
littlevahn Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2005
Very nice peice. I enjoyed it. A few things though, you sometimes go off subject, which kind of takes away from the poem as a whole. ex. When you talked about the window shards. But I still loved it :D

Vahn //
Reply
:iconyournotagoodbye:
yournotagoodbye Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2005  Student Artist
Thank you.:heart:
yes, i have a bad habit of adding little things like the shards after i'm done with a poem.
it's fun. maybe not the best result, but fun.
I'm glad you loved it! and thnx for the watch!
Reply
:iconflamingaura:
FlamingAura Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2005
Its so amazing and awesome! I love the whole thing!
Reply
:iconyournotagoodbye:
yournotagoodbye Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2005  Student Artist
thank you for the :+fav:!!
Reply
:iconsoundsofsorrow:
SoundsOfSorrow Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2005   Writer
oh man
i love this.
mad props.
Reply
:iconyournotagoodbye:
yournotagoodbye Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2005  Student Artist
thnx for the :+fav:!!
Reply
:iconblack-pen:
black-pen Featured By Owner Nov 1, 2005
As always I love! So many good lines....
These last few poems you've written do sound a like, but there all crazy good. And it just sounds like a trilogy of a girl and a guys realationship which is a way cool idea (thumbs up, and a cheezy smile.)
Reply
:iconyournotagoodbye:
yournotagoodbye Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2005  Student Artist
thnx!:heart:
*smiles back*
Reply
:iconfallen-heights:
fallen-heights Featured By Owner Nov 1, 2005
wow powerful words, very well done.
Reply
:iconyournotagoodbye:
yournotagoodbye Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2005  Student Artist
thankyou!:heart:
Reply
:iconburnaway:
BurnAway Featured By Owner Oct 31, 2005
absolutely amazing.
Reply
:iconyournotagoodbye:
yournotagoodbye Featured By Owner Nov 1, 2005  Student Artist
thankyou:heart:
Reply
:iconsilentscreams357:
silentscreams357 Featured By Owner Oct 31, 2005   Photographer
And you couldn't crack this smile with an 80 pound cinderblock.
You make me stutter.
I can hold my breath. I just can't seem to catch it.


Fields on a monotonous drive fly by.
You don't talk anymore.
You're never in the mood to see my pearly whites.
(which aren't so white anymore.)


:heart::heart: the whole thing is awesome!!!=)
Reply
:iconyournotagoodbye:
yournotagoodbye Featured By Owner Nov 1, 2005  Student Artist
thanks you!=D
Reply
:iconraevnn:
Raevnn Featured By Owner Oct 31, 2005
*speachless* another amazing concoction... :)
Reply
:iconyournotagoodbye:
yournotagoodbye Featured By Owner Oct 31, 2005  Student Artist
thank you!:heart:
Reply
:iconraevnn:
Raevnn Featured By Owner Oct 31, 2005
:blowkiss:
Reply
:iconxxxfearofperfectionx:
are you kidding me?!

i dont want to wait til spring for another poem:(
Reply
:iconyournotagoodbye:
yournotagoodbye Featured By Owner Oct 31, 2005  Student Artist
thank you for the :+fav:!!

(i'm probably exaggerating. i'll try and get some on here every once in a while.)
Reply
:iconxxxfearofperfectionx:
no problem. and you better
Reply
:iconsubduedpromises:
SubduedPromises Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2005  Hobbyist Writer
(Don't worry. They can't see the bottom from their boats.)
How come I feel everything and you're stuck at level zero .
(you don't even know the meaning of 'washed out')

:heart: youre crushed i know the feeling.
Reply
:iconyournotagoodbye:
yournotagoodbye Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2005  Student Artist
yeah, i admit it. i am.
but the funny thing is, i don't know if i give up on him or not.
i pretty much do but i still think he's cute and i love talking to him.
oh, well...
:heart:
Reply
:iconsubduedpromises:
SubduedPromises Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2005  Hobbyist Writer
you cant help who you like.
it just falls into place so unconveniently like that.
Reply
:iconlove-is-vengeance:
Love-is-vengeance Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2005
Crazy good ! i love this part "Weak in the knees, you don't feel a thing.
I'm the one who ends up falling.

You notice my eyes light up everytime they land on you.
(i'm like christmas lights. you can be electricity.)
And you couldn't crack this smile with an 80 pound cinderblock"
Reply
:iconyournotagoodbye:
yournotagoodbye Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2005  Student Artist
thnx connor!:)
Reply
:iconlove-is-vengeance:
Love-is-vengeance Featured By Owner Oct 31, 2005
Anytime jocelyn!!
Reply
Add a Comment:
 
×

:iconyournotagoodbye: More from yournotagoodbye


Featured in Collections

Litterature by whenyoumessup

Literature by Brisp

Poetry and Prose by Toast-Maniac


More from DeviantArt



Details

Submitted on
October 30, 2005
File Size
2.3 KB
Thumb

Stats

Views
822
Favourites
20 (who?)
Comments
34
×