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BreakEvenAtDowncast.I remember staring at the cracks, looking for where the rain falls through.
Those yellow walls seemed to stifle me
when my father called and told me he was sorry
And he loved me.

Tears threated my eyes with that beautiful commodity.
              (No one knows the semantics behind "I love you")

I stared at the sky until the stars behind my eyes collided.
Thinking "This will never be something that keeps me awake."
                        (From then on, everything kept me awake.)

                                   The bird on my window said
                              "Hello, my wings do not work."
                    I pushed him
FactoriesAndFailures"Yes,"

she said.
"you make life beautiful
and loving you is living it in the best way,
it's timeless."
His smile radiates complete happiness as he pulls her into his arms.
"It's like it's always been like this, will be this way forever,"
he breathes in her hair.

They were classic.

Then he met Heroine.
The type that doesn't save people
and he as good as yelled
"Forever is over."

Days, weeks, months, passed and she stayed awake for lonely nights.
One day at dinner she attempted a watery smile
                  [to wash out a dry conversation]
       "Hey boy, I dance on water."
His face remained calm as he muttered
           
Last.Look.Crushed.You're crushing me.
Boy, do I wish.
You see, I've got starry eyes for you but its only hurting me.
You're breaking hearts like its going out of style, but thats not "the bad part"
You don't want to shatter mine.
Call it my masochistic side, but give it a shot.
Bring a knife and give me a chance.

im
just
out
of
chances

"forget highschool crushes and grow up"
I can't.
Yellow flowers still make me swoon
and forehead kisses still make me smile.
You still make me nervous.
I'm not pretty but I still keep you on your toes.
With flaws we're batting a thousand, but
it just feels perfect.

No
It feels completely wrong that my breath
TheSkyWontBeBlueByTheTimeYou..Weak in the knees, you don't feel a thing.
                                    I'm the one who ends up falling.

You notice my eyes light up everytime they land on you.
                        (i'm like christmas lights. you can be electricity.)
And you couldn't crack this smile with an 80 pound cinderblock.
You make me stutter.
I can hold my breath. I just can't seem to catch it.

Every look,smile,touch?
It confuses me.
How come I feel everything and you're stuck at level     zero   .

We're in the same car- i'm going 90 and you're going backwards.
                                  
                                  Fields on a mono
ery,miss society.She lies in a field of wild flowers with her eyes closed.
The sun hits every angle of her face and what society would call "weeds".
                 This is the most glamourous that she has ever felt.

In the distance she can hear the construction; more "sky scrapers" being built every second, slowly closing in on this meadow.

She sings "Cloudy morning, my own early bird will save me."
A shadow falls across her face and a voice says "hey familiar".
She looks up at a brilliant smile that doesn't quite reach the eyes of the boy staring down at her.
tie, suit, the boy she couldn't sweat out.
White dress, composed, the golden sky enhanced
ItsAlmostLikeAHurricane                    You've got miles to go until you get to me.
                    You've got miles to go until you  sink this low .
                                 "I want you to hit rock bottom"
                          My pearly whites cracked on impact.

A little girl tugged on my dress and said "that boy doesnt love you"
         I squinted up at the sky and said on a sigh "I believe you're right."
To my surprise she had tears painting her face.
             "Don't give up. You dont care about something until you've lost it."
When my eyes refocused she was gone.
                           I sat down on a bench and on my left s
RyeAndAirI was thinking you make me feel things that I couldn't buy with a million bucks.
You crash my train of thought with
"Let's never talk about this or bring it up again."
"Okay. I agree."
I cant figure out what lies even mean anymore.
All I know is my eyes sting and my throat isn't working very well.
I manage a small wave and walk away as fast as I can without actually
               b r e a k i n g  i n t o  a  r u n .
Tonight I'll take pills and fall asleep with the t.v. on.
You called after me "Darling, we'll be seeing eachother soon."
I love you. And I'll never look you in the eyes again.
                       I woke up on the up
LIFEThe boys' and girls' bare feet were sinking in the green grass and sunlight backlit their shapes against the sky.

She twirled towards him, still wearing the delicate white dress she had worn on stage minutes ago.
                        "You missed it. I was beautiful."
           "What are you talking about? You are beautiful."

Lights danced in her eyes and she laughed softly.
                     "Bet you can't catch me."
He grabbed her hand and said "I've already got you."
               "Not for long" she teased.
                                He pulled her closer and whispered
                                                   
scene in an airplaneClouds are touching the circle-shaped windows that are placed next to every seat.
Sunlight breaking through and tapping on the glass.
50,000 feet.

Discursive and nervous I ask the man next to me if we can go down to just 50.
He says No, not without crashing.
I tell the man that the birds are making me nervous;
they're too loud.
He says Don't worry, the sky is getting dark.
I ask
Can we really fly through storms?
He says "nothing".
Rain starts to fall, why is my face getting wet?
He says Calm down, do something to make you calm down.
I stand and move to the aisle
and I'm dancing, fingers brushing the luggage rack.
As the thunder
I'll Sit This One OutYou took the stars out of her eyes and placed them in the sky.
It seemed nice until you realized she can only see in black and white now.

To make it up to her, he visits with a look that says he's not really sure why he's here or why he feels like he owes this girl.

(small talk turns not-quite-casual)

He feels compelled to ask her how she is.
                                          "Right as rain."
And as it's sinking in that he's the one who ruined her smile and made all her laughs hollow,
he thinks he hears something along the lines of:
                                           "Baby you don't know how bad it is."
              
MyLittleFishThey said you were like a fish-
spending your life in the depths only to resurface in a world you couldn't breathe in.

And I always thought
you were a wonderful prelude
to a damning life.

Now cover girl, you don't cover up anything.
Your makeup does not hide your flaws as you walk to the ocean and drown yourself.
The beach is your last runway, the lightening your last flash.

You yelled          "Call this one 'Hollywood'"       over your shoulder.

[He told me you do not know how to swim.]

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"He's so handsome."
Yeah. He can't keep his ha
Next Exit 30 MilesOn the sidewalk, out of breath.
                                            The boy held out his hand, she tried not to take it.
                                            The girl held out her heart, the boy wouldn't break it.
                                                    
                                                     The little stuttering kids were in love.
                                                                   liar liar, wrap her in piano wire
                                                                        They were just out of it.

She ran into the cathedral to cure her broken heart.
He walked in r
badmemories.It's often strange to see you in person     now
    because surprisingly
    that teddy bear can't
    make up for the fact
    that you missed too
    many potential memories.

(i was thinking about your shirt again
and how i can't find it-like sometimes
how i can't find where i hid the part
of me that loves you     .)

today we talked on the speakerbox again
and fought the entire time     .     i believe
you thought we were kidding  (well i wasn't.)

it's much easier to fake these kind of emotions

i sometimes think about before and
i don't even realize how i survived
without being in love (what sustained me
         
To Break A HeartI would like to tell you
Our whole conversation
Started out with
The honest truth.
But it didn't.
I would also like to tell you
We talked like
Civilized young people.
But we didn't.
And last but not least
I would like to tell you
We solved everything
And became friends.
But... we didn't.
I was growling;
'Do you even love me
anymore?'
and you were sighing;
'I loved what we had
back then.'
And that put us
Where we are now.
Me, heartbroken
And fake-smiling,
And you, not caring.
We were NOT JUST
Another
Teenage fucking romance.
We were true,
And in love
... like you'll never be again.
You said you loved me,
In the
I don't believe it's pain.
I blink, when people say "I just love love!", their faces flushed with pink heat. It's one of those things that just dig and dig at your skin until it rips a hole and scurries inside, like what children fear all those creepy crawly bugs will.

They're a bug in my system.

Maybe I've caught a bug. That would explain why I'm cold in summer. I'm always cold. Well, except for that one time, when I should have been cold. That time, it was only my toes.

It's generally my toes, now that I think about it. They're cold right now.

But lately, it seems to be spreading. My toes get cold, then my legs get cold, and before I know it, my whole body is sha
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More from ~yournotagoodbye

RyeAndAirI was thinking you make me feel things that I couldn't buy with a million bucks.
You crash my train of thought with
"Let's never talk about this or bring it up again."
"Okay. I agree."
I cant figure out what lies even mean anymore.
All I know is my eyes sting and my throat isn't working very well.
I manage a small wave and walk away as fast as I can without actually
               b r e a k i n g  i n t o  a  r u n .
Tonight I'll take pills and fall asleep with the t.v. on.
You called after me "Darling, we'll be seeing eachother soon."
I love you. And I'll never look you in the eyes again.
                       I woke up on the up
Next Exit 30 MilesOn the sidewalk, out of breath.
                                            The boy held out his hand, she tried not to take it.
                                            The girl held out her heart, the boy wouldn't break it.
                                                    
                                                     The little stuttering kids were in love.
                                                                   liar liar, wrap her in piano wire
                                                                        They were just out of it.

She ran into the cathedral to cure her broken heart.
He walked in r
TheSkyWontBeBlueByTheTimeYou..Weak in the knees, you don't feel a thing.
                                    I'm the one who ends up falling.

You notice my eyes light up everytime they land on you.
                        (i'm like christmas lights. you can be electricity.)
And you couldn't crack this smile with an 80 pound cinderblock.
You make me stutter.
I can hold my breath. I just can't seem to catch it.

Every look,smile,touch?
It confuses me.
How come I feel everything and you're stuck at level     zero   .

We're in the same car- i'm going 90 and you're going backwards.
                                  
                                  Fields on a mono
Stages And ActsI take careful steps to the center of the stage, pull a deep breath, and yell
                          "This isnt what I meant it to be."

Excuse: "forced myself to cry"  Truth: "I cant keep myself together these days."

I'm up. Wish me luck. Break a leg, break a heart, whatever.
                                "my eyes water so bad now, they're almost always
                                 black. my problem's gotten so bad now, my teeth
                                 are turning black."
I falter.                       
Do you like my smile?
                                 "I'm giving up on everything.
                           
Nervous Meets FashionableWind blows hair across my eyes.
                        Trust me. I'm trying to smile, and I'm trying my absolute best.

Gazes are still locked.
[it doesn't matter, we've lost the key anyway]
                                          
                                         dolly dolly dolly,
                                         the best isn't ever good enough.

The cliche love of walking on the beach has turned into a real mind hater.
I swear, I could look out over the water and see my heart sinking.
               [The moon might illuminate the drowning scene.]
Despite the sun going down.
Concentration of cold hearts.

You
Last.Look.Crushed.You're crushing me.
Boy, do I wish.
You see, I've got starry eyes for you but its only hurting me.
You're breaking hearts like its going out of style, but thats not "the bad part"
You don't want to shatter mine.
Call it my masochistic side, but give it a shot.
Bring a knife and give me a chance.

im
just
out
of
chances

"forget highschool crushes and grow up"
I can't.
Yellow flowers still make me swoon
and forehead kisses still make me smile.
You still make me nervous.
I'm not pretty but I still keep you on your toes.
With flaws we're batting a thousand, but
it just feels perfect.

No
It feels completely wrong that my breath

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December 26, 2005
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[x]

I Saw Stars

:iconyournotagoodbye:

"Reach for the stars" you said.

I stood on tip toe and felt the air close in on me.
I was reaching for oxygen as much as stars.
My eyes and my lungs needed more than I could get.

You sit on the moon, swinging your feet, laughing.
Tears fall from my eyes and you yell down at me
"If you were at the height I am, you could pass that off for rain."

I ran inside the abandoned building that used to be "home".
The peeling paint chipped and when I looked, it was under my fingernails.
I scrapped my way to the room at the very top.
I looked up at the small lightbulb and watched it flicker out.
         
The window was missing too, a tree branch reaching into the room.
I let it take me and knew it was time to end everything.
It set me down on the moon and I landed facedown, lifeless.

 You walked over and kicked me in the ribs.
"Get up. Reach for the stars. Hurry up, your time's almost up."

You held my hand and helped me up but when I got to my feet you let go and my knees unhinged.
Can't you tell that I can't take it anymore?
And you grabbed my lifeless hand and tried to help me grasp a star.
A small, glowing one landed on my fingertips and you guided it into my eye.
All of a sudden I could breathe.
I looked at you and you smiled.

Then you said coldly
"I told you to hurry. Who could love someone like you? You're worthless."
You pulled the star out and threw it back into the air.
 I collapsed.
:iconyournotagoodbye:
sarcasm said "you're a lot of help"
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:icontoast-maniac:
Mood: Adoration ~Toast-Maniac Jan 31, 2009  Student General Artist
Ohmygod.

I was reading through the comments on this, when I realized with horror that there wasn't one from me, and this has to be my favorite deviation of all time. It's a tragedy. In fact, I love this so much that I would want "If you were at the height I am, you could pass that off for rain." Tattooed on somewhere like my ankle if that wasn't against copy write things. And if I was a tattoo person, which I'm not.

This is like... reading a really raw intense form of emotion placed in the most beautiful way. I can't say enough about it. Just... I love it.
Reply
:iconblaze-element:
~Blaze-Element Jan 24, 2009
Oh my goodness.... That is so... Wow, I can't even think of a good enough word to describe this poem. It left me comepletely speechless. If it isn't too bold to ask... How did you come up with this?
Reply
:iconyournotagoodbye:
~yournotagoodbye May 1, 2009
sorry this is four months later (i'm barely on deviant art anymore, which sucks becaused i love it so much... college gives me barely any time to write)

i came up with this in the same way i came up with all of my other poems. i would think of a line or see a word or fragment in a book i was reading and build from it. a lot of the time my poems really didn't stay together, but sometimes i got lucky. i guess that i really didn't care if they didn't flow nicely because what it comes down to is my love of words and the way they fit together- as long as each fragment in my poetry is something deep or thought provoking, i like the poem.

i don't know if that helps, but i really don't have a set way to write.
Reply
:iconblaze-element:
~Blaze-Element May 1, 2009
It is still amazing all this time later... I hope to see more!!
Reply
:icononinisou:
~OniNisou Nov 24, 2006
I quite like this, then again I am drawn to that which reminds me of tragedy.
Reply
:iconyournotagoodbye:
~yournotagoodbye Nov 24, 2006
thank you much
:heart:
Reply
:iconsilverangel38:
~silverangel38 Nov 4, 2006
You really are a poetic genius...the feeling I get when I read your poems is indescribable
Reply
:iconyournotagoodbye:
~yournotagoodbye Nov 4, 2006
thank you for the favorite

your comments make me blush
:heart:
Reply
:iconsilverangel38:
~silverangel38 Nov 5, 2006
good cause they're all true
Reply
:iconscreamingscars:
~Screamingscars Mar 11, 2006
wow....i got so wrapped up in it that at the end i almost cried b/c i thought it was me who got that star stripped from my hand.

you really captivate your audience. I'm going to watch you.
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